When I say that I do not need a man to be complete, I’m not being some kind of feminist, I’m simply being honest. Check out versus Genesis 2:18-25 and 1 Corinthians 7:6-7. Each verse seems to be communicating different things. From my understanding, Paul is saying that some people have been blessed with the ability of remaining single (I, my friends, do not have this blessing). If we take a closer look Paul is also saying that some people have been blessed with remaining single and being able to serve God in their singleness. As a single young woman I can relate to this. I believe that I am effectively serving in my singleness. Meaning, “How well I serve is not based on having a significant other“. I am not saying to God, “Lord, I can’t serve to the best of my abilities because I don’t have a man to serve alongside me.” This is something that many single Christians may fall into, they base their ability and qualifications to serve on whether or not they have a man or a woman in their life. When the Holy Spirit is alive in you, He will use and qualify you in the ways needed for you to serve and serve well. I currently am involved in a singles ministry at my church in Roseville, CA. God is using me in powerful ways there to continue building His Kingdom, and I am doing all this as a single woman. Being single or serving while being single is not all about waiting, in fact, it is about living. I mean, take a look at Paul himself, he was an amazing man who served the Lord without being married; he did it well and when all was said and done God blessed him greatly. That being said, if you are single you can certainly serve God in your singleness, perhaps more than you would be able to as a married person. “What did you say Rosie?! More than when I am married? I thought two was better than one?” Here, let’s now take another look at scripture:
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Here’s the thing, if I do not serve the Lord while single, who am I to think that I will be better able to serve the Lord once I am married. Who am I to think that I will finally be content and finally able to serve the Lord to my fullest potential just because I have a ring on my finger and a man by my side. Being married isn’t going to change me in the way that I may think it will. I’m still going to be Rosie Brown, a sinner who is saved by grace. It will sanctify me but it is not going to make serving any easier. In fact it is going to make it harder.
If I am not satisfied with where God has me right now, in my singleness, why trick myself into thinking I will be satisfied, full, and content once I get married? There will always be things that one will be dissatisfied in: more time with friends, more time with my husband, more time with just me, need for a bigger and better house, a more reliable car, a better location to live. There will always be things in this life that one can become dissatisfied in. At the end of the day, I want to be satisfied in my Savior Jesus Christ. I am sure that if I am not satisfied in Jesus, I will definitely not be satisfied by a sinful man. That being said, if I am not satisfied in Jesus how will anything else ever be enough. If at the end of the day I can’t say, “Christ is enough for me”, what then will satisfy my thirst. If Jesus is not enough for me, a sinful man definitely won’t be filling any voids in my heart. I find it important to be able to wholeheartedly live and believe in the fact that Christ is enough. When all is said and done, are we content with having Jesus and only Jesus? If the answer is no, then there is no way that significant other/spouse/ man or woman would.
My purpose in this present time is to be happy being single. If God has it in His plan for me to marry someone, that’s fantastic. If God does not have it in His plan for me to marry someone soon or ever, that’s fantastic too. I believe that God is a good God. He is good to me and He is good at being God. He has been good to me in many ways, one of them being the community that I am involved with. The community that has become a family to me and one that I get to joyfully serve. What makes God good is the fact that He follows through, He comes through always. He is faithful, just, compassionate, and powerful yet oh so gentle. He is our good good Father and He loves us unconditionally. I believe that God is who He says He is and that He knows the desires of my heart. I trust Him, I trust Him with everything, including my future with or without a man.
In Psalm 37:4 David state’s:
“Delight Yourself In The LORD, And He Will Give You The Desires Of Your Heart.”
I will daily continue to cling to this promise as I trust in our Lord Jesus Christ. I shouldn’t put all my happiness in the basket of marriage, but rather rest my happiness on serving the Lord in the big and little things while being single. For me, serving the Lord in the little things can be based on my day to day routines, whether that’s holding the door open for someone who is directly behind me when entering a building or tying a 5 year olds shoe at work because he just hasn’t learned how yet. These can be seen as little things but God always uses them greatly. Serving God in the big things in my life is seen as me stepping out in faith when He is calling me to serve. This may mean getting up in front of people and sharing my story, or putting together a plan to do homeless outreach with my young adults group. The big and little things may look different for each of you, but know that whatever they are and wherever you are serving God WILL use you. He will qualify you. At the end of the day, He is my Bridegroom and I am His bride.
Step out in faith and serve where you are, as a single person. If we wait until we are ready we will be waiting for the rest of our lives. Cling to your faith and step out and serve now, not tomorrow and not when you are married, but now. This life is far from perfect so don’t think that you can wait for things to be “perfect”, because it won’t happen. Like the Nike slogan states; ‘‘Just do it”. So, do something and do it now. So when I say I do not need a man to be complete, I’m not being some sort of feminist, I am being honest because I am complete in Christ. He fills every void in my heart and completes me like no human ever can or will.
“For In Him The Whole Fullness Of Deity Dwells Bodily, And You Have Been Filled In Him, Who Is The Head Of All Rule And Authority.” Colossians 2:9-10
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